Guest Post: Doubt and Decisions
Today I am so pleased to introduce Brooke, from The Utopian Universe ! She is a fully qualified psychologist, life coach and performance consultant.I have been following her blog for awhile now and I really enjoy all her shared positivity and valuable life lessons. Do yourself a favour and check her out!
I was very happy when she agreed to write a guest post for us, because even though I discuss topics from here, there and everywhere – I am not qualified, nor am I in the know enough to write about such valuable topics concerning thought processes like she is. Brooke has a way of stripping bare all the clutter bugs in our minds, in order to show us the resolute simpleness of things that drive us absolutely mad. Such as – flopping back and forth during (or after) the decision making process.
Please everyone welcome Brooke and share with her the warmth and kindness that you so wonderfully share with me!
I am very honoured to bring you this post today, as a Guest Blog, for my friend Mliae, as you follow her fabulous blog, I hope you will enjoy this, it regards something that we all do, whoever we are. Brooke – The Utopian Universe
Do you think that a decision and doubt are opposites ? And maybe that a decisive person would never doubt ? Well reality is very different, because the previous step is essential in the process of a decision. As we go through are reasoning it takes us to our decision, without a doubt!
Why do we wear those clothes and not another? Why do you eat that piece of cheese? It’s not an accident, all day long we make and take decisions, some are conscious and some are not, the majority are not, we dress, we choose our food, and we even decide to use one word instead of another. In most cases we just do it,we don’t doubt or decide, it’s just an action we take.
We have this doubt and decision, just like we breath, we don’t think about it, we are alive thankfully because we breathe, and by the same token we are responsible for our life, resolving doubts and making decisions.
In general, we think that doubt and decisions, are opposites ! This is where the saying, a decisive person never doubts and the day they do they don’t make a solid decision. In actual fact doubt and decision are complimentary, one follows the other, and are both essential parties in the process of a situation of resolution.
OUR INTERNAL CHIT CHAT
Doubt will usually come from an external factor, like, a professional or job option, although it comes from an external place,we then take it inside of us and the chit-chat starts, one part of each wants one thing and the other part of us wants something different, so what do we do ? We are made up of multiple aspects, afraid but brave, generous but cautious and above all confused…imagine if you could take an x-ray of ourselves in this moment.
When we are in doubt, we start a mechanism inside of us, that could look a little like a theater production. We have the main characters, their images, their dialogue that in the end come together to form the final act, during this process hopefully we will have learned valuable information about how you work on the inside. The doubt is only provisional , as we always find a solution even if you think no, the person who says “No, you decide for me” they did reach a decision, they decided to let another decide! This is when decision is confused with action, however there are people who are passive,silent not moving when decisions are made.
Many years ago, a Chinese Warrior Sun Zu, said that the art of the great warrior, was to win the battle without going into combat….this type of decision , shows a person that does not doubt but knows how to evaluate well !!
DOUBT AND LEARNING
When we doubt, we get the opportunity to analyse and listen to our inner arguments, expect chit-chat it will help us with the learning process and for us to witness our personal transformation. It is important that you reach an agreement , after listening to your internal arguments and views to reach your decision, show respect to both internal conversations and accept the disagreement. Always leave a little space for a change of decision, change or cancellation of the same.(There is nothing wrong in changing your decision for valid reasons, not on a whim )
LIVE THE UNCERTAINTY
There are situations that we become involved in but we don’t control, this is when we have uncertainty, uncertainty is not confusion, it is not doubt and it is not decision, it is simply a situation where we are passengers and not the driver, in these cases there is no doubt to have and no decision to be taken. Uncertainty is just lived and hopefully it is done in the best way possible.
When we have doubt, we should be able to discover, once we have gone through it, what true alternatives we have, if we manage to do this , we will be able to value what each option holds, this allows us to reduce are margin of error. Doubts are not cancelled or just forgotten, a doubt is resolved, when you do this you may form a new option that previously did not exist. For this reason to learn to doubt, is to learn to decide, and when we realise and understand this, you will decide in a conscious and responsible manner, and also above all else it gives us peace within ourselves.