I’m so mad, I’m so mad, I’m so mad!!!
OK, basically I’m mad at myself. I’m super frustrated & I don’t know what to do. I’ve been working on post #2 for my Minimalist wardrobe challenge. And although I really didn’t have that much to begin with, it was taking me forever to categorize & photograph my clothes to share with you. (Mainly because I was always wearing 1 piece that I needed to photograph…or washing them.)
Then guess what happens. So I’m almost done with all of it & getting ready to post when it occurs to me that there are some items in my wardrobe that I have opted not to wear recently. I have been steadily gaining weight since the surgery last year, and some of my items are tight….impossible to button/zip and make me look like an overstuffed sausage. So, I opt to take a quick trip to the wardrobe and try on a few things again. Just ‘trim the fat’ of those few extra items, so getting dressed in the morning. And guess what? SHIT DOESN’T FIT! 1/3 of my already small wardrobe, is too small now. It’s only been 2 months! WTH?!? Please pardon my foul language. I am just severely frustrated.
So, despite all the perfect photo set-ups (which you won’t see now). I get to basically just describe what I have. Please excuse the fact that the photos I’m posting aren’t so great. I was frustrated and basically just tossing items out of my closet.
7 Sweaters (Some are borderline too small) – Wool, Cotton & Cashmere
8 Shirts. This includes 1 polo, 1 button up flannel, a navy turtleneck & white button up I received for my birthday and long sleeve T-shirts for layering
3 pairs of Pants. 1 pair of pink dress trousers I received for my birthday, an old pair of navy corduroys and my cropped summer destroyed jeans. (The jeans are really tight, and not suitable for winter weather. But I can get it in them, so they count.)
I have 1 pair of sweatpants & 1 pair of leggings, plus 1 pair of snow/ski pants also. I mainly use these around the house (well, not the snow pants) & the ‘rules’ say that gym wear & loungewear don’t count. But in this case, I guess they kind of do. Because without them, I would be crying.
I only had 1 cotton blazer & 1 light jean jacket to begin with, but they are also several sizes too small now.
0 Skirts & Dresses. This is the biggest shame of all. I love dresses. Especially maxi dresses. They are so comfortable & easy, plus they automatically kick your look up a notch. Sadly, the black dress I purchased last year (shown here) is now 2 sizes too small & my only winter maxi dress is an XS. Hahaha….yeah, squeezing into that does not a pretty picture make. By the way, I have actually been on the hunt for a good winter maxi dress (in 100% cotton or wool, of course) and the most affordable option I can find is like 150 Euros. So, while I’m saving my cents for that humongous purchase, I’ll be searching for a sale. Please let me know if you can recommend anywhere online.
I’ve had 2 ‘incomings’ of clothing this Autumn/Winter. My Birthday and I brought back a T-shirt from Trinity college (Thank you, honey. My new hubbs got them for us) and 1 very oversized Aran ivory wool sweater. These have been included in my overall clothing count. Geeze….does that mean I really only had 13 total items of clothing beforehand? Yikes!
Here’s my Birthday bounty: 1 pair pink dress trousers, 1 long sleeve white button up (this lady needed something work-worthy) and 1 navy turtleneck.
This is what we brought back from Ireland: 1 Trinity College T-shirt and an oversized Aran wool sweater 🙂
I have to admit, that while I have some classic pieces which I will cling to as long as they last & I’m addicted to my cashmere sweaters. I don’t really LOVE my wardrobe. Honestly, most of the time I don’t even like it. I don’t think its so much the pieces in it; as I said, I’ve been clinging to my sweaters for ages and am distraught when one finally unravels. So I guess I do love them. But I think it’s how I feel in them right now. I feel huge. I feel frumpy. I feel…unkempt. I feel old. I miss the days when I felt sexy, happy & confident. If I was wearing the exact same items, only 3 sizes smaller? Well, I would probably LOVE them then because I would love myself. So how does one deal with this unexpected train wreck of self confidence? Diet? Exercise? Well, its not that easy. My body is changing & I am terrified that I will be this size (or even larger) forever. That no matter what I wear, I will just look like I’m hiding myself – or my back half will be shining through in all its blubbery glory. I am just not happy with what I see in the mirror.
I can say though, that I have had quite the laugh today as well. In order to make myself feel better, I did a re-google on minimalist wardrobes. I find it astonishing that having 40 items of clothing in your closet is considered a huge challenge and lifestyle overhaul. I have less than 20 that I can actually wear. And while I very much don’t like having to wash laundry every day or every other day so I have something to wear, and I’m constantly wishing I had the available funds to buy myself that maxi dress, long leather skirt or great fitting perfect pair of jeans – having twice as much clothing in my wardrobe would not be a challenge AT ALL. It would be great, actually to have enough variety to feel like I’m not actually wearing the same thing every day. I don’t want a uniform. I want to feel pretty. It’s ironic, really. I wanted to do this challenge myself. Because, I had clothes there but I didn’t realize why I wasn’t actually wearing them. When I removed everything I can’t fit into – I realized that I’ve been an unwitting minimalist (wardrobe – wise) for quite awhile. Now, I guess it’s just suppressing the urge to treat myself to a post-Christmas spree that’s the challenge.
What would you say your wardrobe looks like?
If you would like to read post #1 of my minimalist wardrobe challenge, you can read it by clicking here.