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Do Men Really Feel This Way About Women Over 30?!?

Hi there,

I think I’m in shock, not really sure what to say but I definitely have to say something! I knew the internet was a bit of a ‘wild west’ but I’ve always lived under the assumption that people could conduct themselves with a bit of self-respect and act like adults who at least pretend to have a modicum of respect for those out there who are not identical to the writer. Oh, how wrong I have been!

As you know, I spend A LOT of time researching for the experiments I write about. I was online today reading about the challenges to  making the most out of your already existing wardrobe and how to glam it up a bit. Apparently, 80% (statistic created in my own head) of the articles seem geared towards the late Teens – 20’s crowd. (Most of which who aren’t in possession of the 40’s finances required – BTW.) So, I had to do an entirely different search for fashion for women who don’t want to live in miniskirts and skorts. The grown up model. The 30+ crowd, as we are really the ones that can afford the quality purchases. What I found was….very disappointing.

What was under my search was THIS ARTICLE. Much like a train wreck; You know you shouldn’t look, but you kind of have to. I had to read it.  I read it in it’s entirety.  I have never read such foulness towards women. In short: Unmarried women over 30 are old useless hags who only want a man because her looks are gone & no-one will have her. If you want the long version, you’ll have to read the linked article (top of paragraph ) yourself.

I am confused. My 20’s were horrible. True, I was dating, I went out with my friends, I had fun. But honestly? I had no idea what life was yet. I was so busy just trying to keep a roof over my head, food (ramen) in my mouth & clothes (cheapest thing I could get) on my back that I had no comprehension that there was more to life than the struggle. I know that the majority of women have shared this 20’s construction zone. It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I actually understood who I was! It was the first time in my life that I was actually comfortable in my own body & even proud of it. It was then that I realized that if I could stop focusing on the details, I could see the big picture & actually enjoy life a bit. But according to this writer, when I came into my beauty at 30, I was actually aged out of it. Old. Shrivelled. Desperate. Unwanted.

And the 40’s? Fuhgget about it…. Apparently 40 is the desperate new 80. Auts! This writer is convinced that because a woman in her 40’s actually started a conversation with him in the line at the market, that she was really wanting to drag him to her house, and take him to bed. Why?! Can we no longer be polite without people thinking we are so desperate as to sleep with any male person we come into contact with? Where in the world did this myth get started? Shall we cease to feel sexy in our own right, stop wearing makeup or heels, stop doing our hair? Should we stop speaking to younger people for fear that we will have to explain to them that ‘put away your ego. I’m not trying to fuck you. You remind me of my nephew who lives far away & I hope people are kind to him, so I’m being kind to you’ or some such explanation?

It is apparent that the writer is in need of a great deal of therapy, given his absolute disdain. What really got me was the comments. There were so many! Most of them agreeing with the article in quite strong terms. I am absolutely horrified at how many people seem to feel this way. Truly. I did not realize people could be so openly cruel. The internet truly is a savage place!

This article was about ‘older’ unmarried women, but I’m putting the question to you about both – married & unmarried, as his descriptions seemed to be aimed at all – his rage only targeted towards the single ladies.

The question I am putting to you is: Do people really feel this way? How do you feel about a woman in her 30’s, 40’s & 50’s?


*Photo Source: Pixabay copyright free photos


  1. I’m glad that you are calling this out for what it is – a load of bulls. In this day and age where we have had an African American POTUS, where Arab women can drive, where marriage equality has been recognised in many parts of the world, and yet, we continue to propagate such derogatory views of women?! Women are classier than that. Thank you for letting us have a little rant to start the day. 🙂

  2. Omg while I didn’t read the article nor would I, ill say this: I’m single in my 40’s and much happier in my own skin then I ever was in my 20’s or 30’s. This wouldn’t be the guy I’d be looking for so I wouldn’t waste any more energy on defending or agreeing with their point of view. It’s just that, their point of view.

  3. Since the article upset you so much I had to take a look. Notice the guys age, 20 something. He isn’t old enough, and definitely not mature enough, to have any idea what men and women in their 30’s and 40’s think or want. Let his comments blow in the wind. And if that’s what he really thinks, I wouldn’t waste my time reading his words anymore either. I’m in my 60’s and believe me, men still think I “have It.”

    • Ah-ha! Thank you 🙂 I was tempted to look into who would write that kind of garbage, but I was so mad I was afraid I would wind up internet trolling them…and how immature would that be of me, right? Thank you for the pep talk, I’m glad to hear you’re still Rocking it!

  4. This loser goes by the name of Billy Chubbs. How attractive from the get go. (sarcasm). While he tried not to lump all older women, that’s exactly what he does. I could say something about chubby, wanna be’s in the bar who thinks they’re all that. Most 20 something’s and even the classy older women wouldn’t want you even if you were rich. Sex and the City was a television show. Period.

  5. Oh boy, that is really disgusting. And I’m there are people who think that way, as you can see from the comments in the article (I had to stop after the “we only like you b/c of how it feels…”) — what a pathetic and limited view of humanity. When this man-child gets older he will be in for a big surprise.

    We’re all either gonna get old or die, fella. Better stick with porn because no adult woman will ever be interested in you.

    Thanks for sharing, though — it’s always good to know the enemy 🙂

    • I know…right?! I couldn’t believe it.
      Have to say though, I Looooovvveeee how eloquently you have just systematically broken him (?) down. Nice work 😀
      Yes, always good to know what we’re dealing with.

  6. I don’t know what the ladies feel like, but as an older guy, who still gets interest from women a third of his age, I don’t think one can make blanket statements regarding over-the-hill-edness.
    We are what we are. If we hobble into a store looking like we have a rubber ducky inner-tube around our waist, I suppose that will garner a certain reaction. I we are still sleek and svelte, and many thirty-to-eighty somethings are, that might bring a different response.
    I say to the author. We’ve got some living to do. Take a placebo and sleep on it. It’ll get better when you get back to feeling yourself.

  7. My view! In my mid sixties… feeling great! Moving faster than ever! Quick witted and admittedly right brained!! But I think that 50 is the 30 and 60 is when you really have an opportunity to live! I 60 is the new 40!

    • That’s great to hear, thank you for sharing! So close minded of this guy to say that our lives re basically over when we’re only like 1/4 lived! (For those fortunate enough, anyway.)

  8. What I feel about a woman in her fifties is the same way I would have felt about her in her twenties. The idiot that wrote this article sounds wounded… maybe possibly rejected by a much older woman… hmmmm maybe?

    • Hahhaaa, I looovvvee your theory. Rejected by an older woman puts an entirely new spin on things! Thanks so much for your super comment 🙂

  9. I don’t think I will bother to read the article. You have analysed it so well. I am as interested in beauty as the next man, but our ideas should mature with our years. When I intimated to a friend that I intended to make contact with my ex-wife after nearly 40 years, he said “but she’ll be an old lady”. I replied that I didn’t care and she was still the woman I had fallen in love with.

  10. First of all I am a 64 almost 65 year old woman and I sure don’t consider myself ANY THING what was described in that article. Sex In The City was a tv show and as a New Yorker , I can tell you that ISN’T the New York I know. I have no idea what women Billy chubb (what a great name for a fool like that!)is talking about . He needs to grow up and stop hanging in places where mature older women are not 20 – 30 ‘ s year old boys hang out.

    • HAHA…YES! Thank you 🙂 Your insight on NY is appreciated. I’m sure many of us have only the image that the media gives us in our heads, and it sounds like this ‘Chubbs’ does too. (You’re right, it IS a ridiculous name!)

  11. Sounds like the yiouth cult hasn’t really left us. I do not feel that way. We are not animals—despite the American educational experiments on pour kids. My wife and I married in our thirties.

  12. I have to say I haven’t read the article, mostly because I don’t want to give him the traffic. It seems to me that age can very easily be misunderstood from different perspectives. I’m not in any way condoning his misogyny (let’s not pretend it’s anything else) but I’m sure I thought that people in their 30s were ‘old’ when I was in my early 20s. Looking back on them now, I completely agree with you. I was an insecure train wreck, lurching around not knowing what on earth I was doing.

    Having said that, it’s interesting that this man feels the need to pin certain ideas and behaviours on women, and then pretend that it’s about age. Does he similarly deride men over a certain age? Are they too confined to the scrap heap once the clock ticks past their 30th birthday? I very much doubt it. Unfortunately, media portrayals of women don’t do much to prove him wrong, with women pretty much disappearing after the age of 40, and somehow becoming ‘mums’ to actors the same age as them in their 30s. As long as we see films with enormous age gaps and the majority of love interests in their 20s, it is going to be hard to assuage this ridiculous attitude.

    Still, we can only hope that some recent films, TV shows and magazines that champion women of all ages will serve to reeducate immature boys like this who not only feel the need to objectify and reduce the women they see, but also support and reinforce similar backwards views held by others.

  13. Hello m’lady!
    After reading your article talking about the attitudes and opinions of this guy and many others like him, I felt it necessary to express an opinion or two myself.
    The question of superiority between the sexes: Yes, men are superior to women … at some things! Women are superior to men… at other things! Why the hell some boys think it is big and clever to talk down to women may seem to be a mystery but it is really quite simple: Inside their big, tough shells resides a young, underdeveloped human being that hates to feel inferior when looking at the truly worthwhile people of this world. The easiest way to haul up their own sense of worth is to try to diminish others around them.
    Am I a young stud full of ‘piss and vinegar’ as the saying goes? Nope, a fifty-plus guy who treats everyone in the world as what they are, namely unique individuals. Heck, even identical twins are not exactly the same at the level of their DNA, so everyone is truly one-of-a-kind (yes, even the dickheads who abuse people around them may have some redeeming qualities. For example I heard that Hitler was kind to his dogs).
    Anyway, it took me a few decades of life to figure out what was worth doing and thinking. I was a young, ambitious, driven type-A workaholic that competed with myself to make more money, more muscle, more knowledge and for what? Most of it is to feed a fragile ego. Now, I still do some of this stuff but my joy is to pass on to others something that can help them or even just raise a smile on a gloomy day. Life is like a big mirror. When people get something out of what I have said or done it seems to reflect back at me (is this cosmic karma or just cosmic as Rodders used to say in ‘Only fools and horses?)’ T. Derek Sobel back in the 1970s used to give exhibitions for free to kids and when one reporter told him he was wasting his money-making potential Sobel said ‘ Material wealth accrues from hoarding, spiritual wealth accrues from sharing!’
    I worked forty years worth of career in twenty years, made lots of money,big house etc. and hated it. Now I work as a volunteer, don’t spend much but I love it!

    Okay, what’s the point of me rambling on about all this? Am I desperate for everyone to say what a hero I am now? No, there is a punchline or two and it goes like this: All I have accomplished over the years was made possible by a partnership with an individual who was good at what I could not do and vice versa. We plugged each others’ gaps and she put up with my slow evolution from bad-tempered know-it-all in to a human being. I bet you guessed I am talking about my wife.
    The real punchline is co-operation: Why have ‘battles of the sexes’ and who is better or worse? Nature made us to be part of a team of two and some of us take (or will take) a long time in life to figure it out but if we can live long enough then hey!! Maybe even the unpleasant trolls, morons, wanna-be big men and generally all-round sub-humans will evolve into human beings as well. Until then, whenever they toss verbal manure our way we can just laugh it off and say (as BA used to) ‘I pity the fool!’ Because having a good time by trying to give others a bad time really does come a poor second to giving people a good time and feeling that warm glow inside.If everyone – EVERYONE- did just ONE good thing for their partner, friend, neighbour, whoever each day just imagine how much happier the world would be.

    Right, you will be relieved to know I am calling it a day now – did you see how easy it is to do a good turn? – You created this great blog and allowed me to have fun while possibly boring a chunk of the population! And finally – taadahh! – I answer the question ‘Do men really feel this way about women over 30?’
    Yes, there are the above-mentioned subhumans that think this way and again we must pity them ’cause if they think 30 is old they have got a long time ahead of them to hate themselves.
    Thanks for listening (if anyone lasted long enough to read this)!

    • WOW! What a fantastic comment! Can’t speak for anyone else, but I loved every word of this. I’m also showing it to my husband 😉 You are more than welcome back to share your thoughts…anytime! Thank you! 😀

  14. do not pay attention to idiots. Fortunately, there are smart men in the world too. I got married at 43 and before that my personal life was a disaster, but now I’m happy with my husband

  15. I can easily see why this guy made your blood boil. It’s hard to believe that anyone still believes, much less vocalizes such ‘politically incorrect’ thoughts.

    His comments speak more about him in general. He appears extremely narcissistic with a huge case of gerascophobia which is an actual fear of growing up. In that case, It’s pretty pathetic that he will be missing out on so many of the joys that life and each decade of it, brings. Do we want to get older? At 62, I can tell you that many of my friends have been diagnosed with some awful things, and I am blessed to celebrate birthdays and the health of myself and my loved ones.

    I feel sorry for who he ends up with and should be forewarned….In the meantime, enjoy your world and keep writing. I love reading your posts!

    • I love this….
      You are correct, my blood was boiling! This guy….Ugh.
      I’ve learned something new today: Gerascophobia! I had no idea, thanks for the wisdom! 😀
      Thank you so much for your kind words! If you love reading, that just make me love writing them even more <3

      • In my case, I met one “hew friend” on FACEBOOK who thought there was only one purpose for me or that social medium–to replace a boyfriend “with benefits” who had just dumped her. And didn’t want to listen to my answers until she had exhausted her own, fixed sequence of questions!

      • Ooooohhhhhh… That sounds complicated, and kinda creepy. I trust you came out of the ordeal unscathed? I hope?

      • Yeah…she eventually got around to asking the question she wanted to ask—was I seeing someone—-Yes—heard no more from her Offered a friendship—she wasn’t —interested! Yeah—been a while since I was last propositioned, but there it was..

  16. It truly IS A JUNGLE out there! I’m sorry to say that even this preacher’s kid (purportedly the worst!) said–if not did–some pretty insensitive things while searching for any woman breathing–until God got hold of this knucklehead and convinced him TO STOP LOOKING–and THEN a godly woman and I found each other. in our thirties. Seems like the “sexual revolution” of the ’60’s, etc. Was a massive brainwash to allow guys free reign and girls to not have Dads anymore to idolize and learn from safely—–and in most cases THAT isn’t safe anymore, if various media can be believed! Seems like even this relatively rarified blog environment is infiltrated with creeping crud, so to speak! And there’s little substantial I or you can do. apparently, other than treat the people we encounter here with respect and kindness. Out there? Try to to the same—admittedly more a cost for you than me—I hate that!

  17. I have also found that on Facebook, if you don’t seem to be falling over them, you never hear from them again (thank the Lord) they are very direct and ask the first question, are you married and do you have kids……………..really, are there no normal adults left out there !! Some very sad people out there ….

    • Really?! OMG. That’s just creepy. Like look out the window and see them in the bushes with a bottle of oil, creepy. Glad they disappear if you don’t engage! Yikes :/

      • Your right, they ask for a friendship request with other things in mind……………….crazy, I mean do I have anything on my facebook that would indicate I am looking for a partner ? creepy

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