Feeling Defeated – Did The Challenge Get The Best of Me?
I’m not quitting, I don’t think. But I am having one of those discouraging days when I just don’t think I can carry on with this challenge anymore. It’s difficult. I knew it would be when I started it. But it’s also…expensive. I can no longer go to my fave ‘cheap stores’ to buy affordable food. Instead, I’m paying €5 for a jar of mayonnaise.
My diet is extremely restricted – as I can only eat what’s seasonal and grown locally (with the exception of wheat powder, sugar, rice, eggs, butter, oil and dried beans that I’ve allowed myself) so that basically leaves me with red currants, cucumber, kale, summer squash, turnips and potato at the moment. In a few weeks we can add onion and carrots. Now this sounds like a lot. And it is, because its summer. That’s what scares me. If, during the time of plenty, I’m hungry and bored….what will happen in a month? Will I still be eating salads? Or will cold food be a thing of the past and I’ll be going the potato, cabbage and rice path. What am I supposed to do? And why can’t I buy a 20 penny bag of macaroni to save money and use as a filling in my salads to make them last longer? Why do I find myself spending more and eating less?
I keep telling myself that this is good for the local economy. Small farms that work hard to bring in any profit and that I would much rather give them my hard earned money instead of just throwing into the machine which manufactures our food as a multi-billion dollar industry. I mean, the machine doesn’t notice but the local farmer definitely does – and they are thankful. This one thought is what is keeping me on this challenge at the moment. Well ok, that and the hope that I will eventually find myself a bit healthier since I’m not eating a diet full of processed foods.
However, now that I mentioned that – I feel as though I’m actually eating a ton more processed sugars. You see, I have to preserve most of the food I have so that it will last me past next week. Since the harvest times are short and the crops do not last forever, I find I must buy when it is available (and more than I will be just eating for a couple days) and preserve, freeze, dry the rest so that I have at least a bit of something different to break up the monotony in the coming months. (Am I really planning to last that long. No. No way I can do it. But I do plan to at least incorporate this local buying strategy into our lives in the long-term. So in a way, yes, I guess…but nooooo.) But do you realize that 1/4 kg (about ½ lb) of sugar goes into each bottle of juice? I averaged it out. I use 2 kgs sugar per 10 liter pot of currant or rhubarb juice. Each pot makes between 8-12 bottles of concentrated juice. We then pour a bit of the concentrate and then mix with water. But that’s still ALOT and that’s only the juice! Jam, again –like 2 kgs sugar. Even pickling requires a bit of sugar in the mix. I assume this is why I’ve lost basically no weight.
Anyway, that’s where I’m at today. Any words of encouragement would be thoroughly appreciated at this point.
Thanks for reading
*Photo sourced via Pixabay