This summer, I lost my mind. I decided I would challenge myself to live as sustainably as possible. To only grow my own food or purchase locally produced food items. To learn how to bake. And to embark on a 1 year shopping ban. No trial runs, just go do it! The food thing didn’t last long. The shopping ban, however, has lasted 7 months. (Probably because, well… I got goodies for Birthdays & Holidays)
Why am I not Ok, you ask? I’ll tell you. I’m not OK because I want to shop. Very badly! There are a few things happening at the moment:
- My pants are starting to wear out. Those little holes you see & think to yourself, nah, it still works. Well they eventually turn into huge rips. Usually at the most inconvenient of times! (See the day I accidentally ripped the ‘back’ of my favourite pants and found myself being taped back together at a strangers desk!)
- It’s really cold and I just don’t feel pretty when its cold. Too many layers, not enough warmth. And when your eyes/nose are watering and your eyelashes freeze, bothering to put on makeup, only to have it dissipate after a few minutes in the elements just doesn’t happen.
- I’m (too) selective. Because of my %100 natural fibre neurosis, I have to spend a crazy amount of time researching items before I buy them. So many stores don’t even have products that fall into this category! So sometimes I make myself feel better by walking into a store that I know has nothing I’ll buy, then I can leave having purchased nothing and feel good about myself. This usually works. Until, that is, the store surprises me and has something that fits both my fibre needs & my size. That turns into a challenge quickly.
- As an affiliate, I get the opportunity to browse a lot of dream products. And that I do (see fibre neurosis) as I refuse to promote anything I don’t want myself! And that’s the magic phrase right there. I want it myself. I want so much of it myself! Hand-crafted stilettos? Oh yes, those will be mine! Cruelty-free alpaca? You know it! But I have to wait. Stalk. Save… In the meanwhile, I’m like a trapped monkey here.
- And, speaking the truth, I just love the occasional new goodie. Does that make me a terrible person?
I never guessed that 7 months without buying myself a new outfit or shoes would result in shaking and sweating. How is this even possible? I don’t actually shop that much when I allow myself to because, well, I have to save for those purchases that I really desire. So it is quite the surprise to me that I am getting bored with my clothing. There was a year when I couldn’t afford to purchase myself anything. I saved and saved and was finally able to buy a cute dress with little red apple print on it. I loved that dress and wore it far beyond the 50€ I paid for it. I was so happy about it! So this is where I am questioning what is happening. Of course, I would love to go out and buy every piece of sustainable luxury that I like. Wouldn’t we all? But what has me stumped, is that those very few pieces I have fallen in love with, well, I find myself obsessing over them. Like somehow my life will be better if I own them. And that isn’t true, is it? What good is a pair of stilettos to me when I’m knee deep in snow? (Granted, the alpaca would actually keep me warm.) But yet I really feel like somehow if I have these items, my life will change for the better. And that just doesn’t seem healthy. Or true.
Now, I have actually been doing good things too. I have a daily system that reminds me that I absolutely should NOT be purchasing any clothing or accessories right now. But that is its own blog post, so more on that later.
I have also discovered that I don’t actually own that much. Thank you, for all the comments! It really helped me to put things in perspective. I really had no idea the number of contents of my wardrobe are comparatively small.