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Self-Control? What Self-Control?

Dieting can be a nightmare. Even more so when oneself is so delusional that you think you’re dieting when you are actually doing anything but.

I like good food. I like healthy food. Unfortunately, I eat my healthy food and then…I get hungry. An insatiable hunger, with which I find myself eating double the amount I just ate, and nothing but rubbish food. And that hunger, it never seems to fully leave. Its not always so bad. Sometimes, I can almost manage to get through 1-2 days of healthy eating. But then, the hunger returns…

I keep telling myself that I eat like this

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But then I realise that I’m actually eating like this

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Somedays, I am able to look in the mirror and convince myself to just accept myself the way I am. To instead focus on leading a happy and healthy life, instead of being so focused on my weight. This is an amazing feeling of freedom and self-love. Unfortunately, the moment I can’t fit into my clothes, or I find myself too embarrassed to get into a swimsuit around friends, that self-hating, diet demanding, stress monster returns in bright colours.

I don’t want to be that blogger who complains. That isn’t me. But, challenges happen. It’s life. I know there has to be a compromise with this thing somewhere. Its so silly, no? All of this energy because of what we see in the mirror? If I put that energy into something else, I would see results immediately. So how am I fighting….myself? So odd.

Is it just me?

-Mliae

4 Comments »

  1. It’s not just you. I didn’t have to worry too much about my weight until later in life. When the clothes no longer fit, it’s time to make a change in lifestyle or accept yourself as you are. I see that’s where you are, and it’s often where I am. Ice cream is my downfall. I can’t exercise much, so about three weeks ago my doctor suggested I try to limit myself to 1,200 calories per day. I do fairly well until around 8pm, when the ice cream starts calling my name. It’s a never-ending battle. I’ve only lost one pound in these three weeks, but at least I’ve put the skids on my weight going any higher. I wish you luck. Counting calories is no fun!

    • Thank you for the support here 🙂 You are correct, that it is the time to either make a change or accept it. I just don’t understand how the change can be so…difficult. It’s those evening snacks which really cause me problems also.

  2. Hi Mliae, I can completely relate to your post. You had me smiling all the way through. I’m still in the process. Right now the only thing that seems to have worked with regards to eating and self control has been prayer and intermittent fasting.

    • Thank you for relating to this post! It is quite frustrating… I think that it would not be so challenging except that unhealthy food just tastes so good! Luck to you on your healthy eating as well 🙂

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