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Bad Blogger? Why I Don’t Keep A Mailing List and Other Items.

Google anything about blogging and the one item you will see that every ‘successful’ blogger must have, is a mailing list. Why? Why are mailing lists such a key item? Because it seems that I should take your loyal readership to the next level and….start sending you private emails to sell you things. Ah. Ok, so this is how those high-level bloggers are able to pay their bills. Hmm…I think that not for me.


Would I like to make money blogging? Of course. Do I? No.  (Any rare benefits from affiliate links are used to maintain this beautiful website.) WordPress sends my subscribers an email of posts. I think that is enough email you are receiving from me, no? Who wants a follow-up asking you to buy my course (in…I don’t know what)? Mmmmm….nobody wants that. I don’t want that. So, please have comfort knowing that the only use your email has here is that WordPress emails you my updated posts so you don’t have to get yourself here to read them.

The next must for any successful blogger is…..Social Media. I know, I know, a blog is social media. Apparently, I’m also supposed to be sharing every moment of my daily life on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, jne.  Ugh. No. I often wonder if people’s lives are truly that interesting, or if they are actually do many of these activities only to provide content on social media. That seems like quite a bit of pressure to be a much more interesting person than I actually am. Also, I take horrible photos. My photography skills need much improvement, and for some reason, whenever I am in front of the camera – I have a need to make stupid faces.

Also, we are supposed to ask all of our friends and family to follow our blogs. I just….can’t. I know that I am not alone in this. I think that many bloggers don’t tell people they are blogging. There are quite many reasons for this that I understand totally. This topic is a post by itself. (One which I will be writing at some time.)

I have questions. So many questions. Can a blog be successful without trying to force it to be so? What even is a successful blog? And is it something that I want, even? I blog because, well, for me its like having a coffee with a friend. It’s just a bit of a mystery which friend I am talking to – until I read the comments of the friend talking back to me. I can write about my wishes, my difficulties, the odd things I think are funny and the topics that interest me. And you…you either schedule interest for a different day (different topic) or stay and discuss with me about it. That’s the thing. So I have trouble to understand why all of these  – ‘have to’s’ – are required.

Is it just me?

Venus'et Fleur


  1. No, it’s not just you. I feel the same way you do about all the social media. However, I’m writing a novel, and that just adds to the have to’s. I’m told that since I eventually will have a book to publicize, I must build my author’s platform on social media. I’d rather be writing!

    • I believe it, easily! I can’t imagine the ‘have-to’s’ list for authors who are bloggers. Surely more intense than my little rantings.
      Happy to be in good company with this social media dislike though! 😀

  2. Good points every one! I’m just blogging for fun, too, and all that pressure to do it a certain way makes it not fun, to me. Thanks Mliae! 🙂

  3. No, it’s not just you. In fact, I do share all of my blog posts on Facebook and then wonder why in the world I do that. Only three or four of my Facebook friends even read the blog posts. My father is continually asking me why I don’t monetize my blog. No, no, no! I blog because because I want to, and I enjoy it, and if other people read and enjoy my posts that’s great.

  4. takes the fun out of blogging. 👍🏼 to each, his own ways, his own joys. absolutely true.
    in my case, people have been questioning why i have different topics in my blog. from sports to travel to advocacies, etc. they say i have to stick to one topic, to cater to only 1 sector, be they sports lovers or travel people, etc. well, it’s just that these are things that interest me. so i just wanna be me! so i wanna write about things i love.

    • You have mentioned a very good topic for discussion. This blogging topic thing, I know how you are feeling. This has disturbed me also. Same as you, I want to write about what interests me….all of it, not what someone thinks would get readers attention only. You be you! That’s the only way to be, no? 🙂

  5. I’m the same way. I don’t have a mailing list. I make no money from my blog although it would be lovely if I did. I don’t promote it although I have but not successfully and I don’t care. I blog mostly for myself and my own therapy and then I hope to have content that someone connects too or laughs with or something. However, I will say the family and friends that do follow my blog learned more about me and my struggles with multiple sclerosis then they ever knew being with me.

    • I like this comment, and your blog too 🙂 You have hit the centre of it here, I think. That we have to write for ourselves. And that people – even those who know us very well – are able to learn things about us by reading our blogs because its more easily showing the inner thoughts, the difficulties, the humour, the…weird. All those bits we try to hide from people in person, but cannot hide in our writings.

    • I do really enjoy reading your blog. Speaking the truth, I was telling a friend about your blog recently. I was telling her that yours is so nice to read because not only do you talk about your challenges, but you also post quite funny things and talk about your happy days too! Just if no one hasn’t told you this, keep up the good blogging!

      • Thank you. You know I love your blog and your sense of humor comes through your writing which I love. Not many writers can do that but you do because you just write as you. 😊

      • Oh, WOW…THANK YOU! I was not expecting to hear this and I really appreciate it. All smiles now! 😀 😀 😀 😀

      • It’s very true. I thank you for putting smiles on my face from your blog. 💛💛💛

      • Lady, you’ve got me without words. If cyber-heart-confetti was a thing, there would be lots of it all over your keyboard right now.
        Thank you, wow! Happy happy!
        *hearts hearts hearts hearts

  6. I really like your perspective on this topic. I blog on two platforms – one with wine recipes/info and the other more topic-focused – and find that I write for different reasons. The wine blog is written because I work in wine (hosting tastings for a MD winery) and enjoy sharing ways to use wine that aren’t always typical. I write the personal blog to get ideas out of my head… if a topic comes up a few times in my life, it helps me to write it out instead of letting it fester in my head. I love getting feedback, but agree that it shouldn’t be my primary focus. Thanks for sharing this idea!

    • Thank you! I give kudos to you for blogging on multiple platforms. That’s a lot of work. I’d like to check out your blogs. The wine ideas sound interesting!
      Thank you for reading this – and liking my ideas! If I ever do become a ‘successful blogger’ – maybe I share some advices telling people to stop listening to the blogging have-to’s! 😉

  7. Can’t say its just you. There is a fine line between making money blogging and selling out for pennies. It’s been a shame to see good healh & fitness bloggers evolve into health and beauty bloggers where every post is trying to sell clothes/makeup.

    Got on the social media bandwagon to reach new audiences realised its a lot of effort and no one cares if all you post is ‘check out my latest post…’ more fun when you embrace the community element and aren’t motivated in getting clicks.

    And as for friends/family? I have chosen who I share with wisely, nothing stifles creativity more when you are writing and think ‘I better not put that, Janet in accounts who knows about my blog will offended if she sees that line…’

    Good luck with your continued work and creativity!

    • Haha! I love the Janet situation …so true! Janet will make your day a nightmare.
      I agree with you on the blog transformation when monetisation arrives. There’s a large beauty blog I used to follow closely and then the original thought and readable posts stopped…when the buy this here posts became the entirety of their content. It’s a delicate balance. I think that a ‘sometimes post’ is ok. But too often, and its just another marketing channel. Like those scientists-fi movies where you have to pay to shut off those advertisements.
      Social media, its all mixed up now. Too much focus on likes. I don’t understand it.
      Thank you for reading and for your kind wishes! 😀

  8. I did not tell anyone of my blog because that would change my entire attitude towards my writing. I feel that when u blog I need the freedom to express myself, and if I share my writing worth others, the danger is that although most will be happy for me some will criticise and turn negative.

    • Yes, this is the thing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I understand completely what you mean about the negativity. Its so frustrating, no? I understand the context some people take it is well, not nice. You write how you just want. And its never a bad thing to keep nice things to oneself for awhile before sharing with others. Same applies to chocolate cake! 😉

  9. What a good post. Very thought provoking. I dabble with what I can but I have no idea how to measure the ‘success’ of my blog? Is there even such a thing? I don’t know.

    • Thank you 🙂 You are correct in that it is quite difficult to even measure if a blog is successful or not. Everyone has a different way of measuring!

  10. I so agree with you . Blog about something you know and love. I happen to blog about travel and sports. Would I like to make money off my blog , I’d be lying if I said no, but after being on this earth for God willing, 67 years, it’s not that important or serious . I post when I want to and don’t worry about, oh I have to write a post today. No, I’m retired and I can post whenever the mood hits me. I have my blog on Facebook but my posts there are mostly travel quotes that everyone seems to love. That’s where my friends and some family members see my blog posts. I also post my blog posts on Twitter and Pinterest, but not all the time. I post when I WANT TO . You aren’t a bad blogger if you do it the way you want. It’s YOUR blog, do you boo and do what is right for you , not what other bloggers do.

    • I like this comment, thank you! I agree with you about this. I don’t quite understand why it’s so difficult, but when I don’t want to follow all the expert advise, there’s a level of…. worry.

  11. I am thinking of a mailing list because a lot of my reade are not comfortable enough online to subscribe to a blog, and are not regular on social media. And ask me to forward posts to them. It’s not for all bloggers – depends on what suits you.. I totally understand if you don’t feel the need for it.

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